It was the
year 1977, I had just graduated from Secondary School and my dream was to be my
own boss and start a hairdressing/beauty salon. I was not really the academic
type and I knew what I wanted. I wasn’t dull but I just didn’t want
post-secondary education…I actually passed my ‘School Cert’ (like we called it
back then). My mum enrolled me with a friend of hers to learn the skills
required for this ‘dream’.
My dad was
not really in support because I was the only girl, the last child and all my
older siblings/brothers were in various institutions of higher learning and he
wanted me to at least get a National Diploma even if I wasn’t going to work
with it. My mum stood by me and somehow got my dad on board…he wasn’t going to
pay for the training at first, but he later did.
About a
year after I started with “Aunty Betty” (My mum’s friend that was training me),
I met one of her nephews, Tunji. He was a student of the Yaba College of Technology
in Lagos…they were out of school due to the ‘Ali Must Go’ riots and had come to
see her aunt. I was the only one at the salon when he came in…I was wondering
what a man was doing at beauty shop, he greeted me with a smile and c that was it. I couldn’t get that smile out
of my head. He was soft spoken and very intelligent, he had asked me some
questions about school and when I told him my plans, he said it was a wise one
because there was nothing as fulfilling as following one’s passion in life. Aunty
Betty officially introduced us when she arrived at the salon….I must have made
an impression on him as well because he kept coming to the salon everyday till
it was time to go back to his school. He would hang around and crack jokes…he
was really hilarious. At a point, Aunty Betty had to ask what we were up to…she
would say jokingly that she was totally in support, if we planned to take our
friendship to the next level, to which Tunji would smile and I would pretend
not to understand what she was talking about.
I wasn’t
that experienced in relationship stuff…the only boy that ever claimed he was my
boyfriend back in high school got a beating of his life when two of my brothers
caught up with him (the benefits/woes of being an only girl with 4 big brothers).
These were the same guys that would switch girls like they were disposable
plates but their sister was off limits to all the boys in the neighborhood.
Tunji left
after the schools were reopened and I thought that was it…after all; he never
said he wanted to date me, although he was always coming to the salon all
through his stay. At first I had expected him to say something but when he
left, without words, I assumed he was just a friendly guy that wanted to spend
time with me and his aunt. The day he left for school, he sent me a letter
through his aunt but because I did not want to read it in her presence I put it
in my pocket, when I got home I put it under a pile of clothes in my wardrobe
but completely forgot about it.
There was a
day I told Aunty Betty I wouldn’t be at the Salon because I had some errands to
run for my mum. It must have been about 3 weeks after Tunji left…when I got
home from where my mum sent me, he was in our house. He was in the sitting room
with two of my brothers and they seemed to be having a wonderful time. They
were talking and laughing…I was shocked to see him.
He later
told me he came from school to collect some money from his aunt and would be
around for a couple of day…he checked at the Salon and was told I didn’t come, Aunty
Betty gave him my home address and he wanted to surprise me. I was more of
afraid than surprised because my dad was home and I didn’t know what his
reaction would be after Tunji left. It was the first time any boy came to look
for me…I was about 20 years old then and my dad still saw me as a kid...
To be
continued in Part 2
The
Exchange (Part 2)
I made
Tunji leave and saw him to the gate, I could see the mischievous looks on my
brothers’ faces as we were leaving. Tunji asked if I read the letter he sent to
me, as that was one of his reasons for coming to see me…I told him I had
forgotten and I would read it later that evening. He promised to come see me
the next day, I begged him to come to the Salon and not our house.
When I got
back in, my dad was waiting in the sitting room
“Who’s that
boy?” He asked
I didn’t
have any answer but my mum quickly responded that he’s her friend’s nephew. My
dad nodded and said “ I like his confidence”.
This boy
must have two heads, I thought to myself…as the only girl; I was my dad’s most
precious gem and he had made his position known that he did not want to see any
boy in that house till I was done with my vocational training and had set up in
my own Salon.
That night,
my mum asked if anything was going on between me and Tunji and I told her we
were just friends…she smiled and went back to the kitchen. I waited for
everyone to sleep and I went for the letter. It was still where I had kept it,
I opened it and it was my very first love letter…
Somewhere
in my room,
A night
before I depart,
XX XXX,
1978
Dear Toun,
Top of the
day to you my ravishingly beautiful friend. I believe you are having a
wonderful day, if so doxology.
Just in
case this is coming to you as a surprise, the past weeks have been the best of
my life. I never thought I would meet a girl that would blow my mind and knock
me off my feet. Right from the first day I saw you, I knew I was hooked. I have
tried to get you out of my head but just couldn’t.
It’s as if
it was predestined and written in the stars. Anytime I set my eyes on you I
can’t explain the things I feel in my heart. It’s as if someone is filling my
brain with symphonies of a wonderfully composed music; that makes my mind fly
high into the splendor and grandeur of celestial places.
I love this
feeling and I never want it to stop. Trust me; this must have been what Romeo
felt. Only something this divine would make a man want to end his own life just
to protect and preserve the feeling.
However,
not even Shakespeare could have captured what I feel; ink, pen and paper would
not do justice to it. It may look like I am perambulating but I just want to do
my best to express this feeling. I want you to be my girl
It can't be
wrong
When it
feels so right
'Cause you,
you light up my life
I know it
sounds like I stole the lines from Kasey Cisyk, but girl, you truly light up my
life.
Even my
aunt knows that we will be great together. I am not just looking to pass the
time, which is why I waited till I was leaving for school. I want something
deep and meaningful. I want you for keeps.
What sayest
thou?
Post
Scriptum: I would have told you this in person but I wouldn’t be this composed
in front of you, so I chose to write you this letter.
Forever in
Love,
Tunji
Abioye
I must have
read the letter like 5 times (I kept it for many years…many, many years) there
were some words in it that I didn’t really know the meaning but I got the idea
and I knew what Tunji was trying to say. Butterflies played ping pong in my
belly all through the night. It was as if the letter woke some feelings up in
me as well. I liked Tunji too, he was handsome and his spoken English was
flawless....
You will not shi-marry
The
Exchange (Part 3)
Tunji came
the next day like he said he would and that was the beginning of our
relationship. It was like a match made in heaven. My dad was the last person to
warm up to him in my family but it didn’t take long at all. Tunji had this
charisma that made people like him; he‘s soft spoken, calm and focused…all the
qualities of a young man well brought up. Tunji was an orphan that had lost his
parents at an early age…he had been passed around different family members’
homes while growing up. At a point, he lived with one of his teachers; who took
him in because he didn’t want him to stop school. Tunji was a very brilliant
student...he wanted to study Medicine but he didn’t have the financial
capability, so he opted for engineering. That must have been another thing that
endeared him to my father.
About a
year after we started dating officially, Tunji completed his Higher National
Diploma. Back then, only University graduates were allowed to go through the
National Youth Service Program…so he moved back to Abeokuta, where I lived, and
got a job as a teacher in one of the secondary schools. At the end of that same
year, I completed my training as a beautician and hairdresser. I opened my own
beauty salon and as expected, people started pestering us to get married. Tunji
already rented an apartment and was running after-school classes to make some
extra money. Government jobs were good back then and in no time, Tunji had
furnished his apartment and gotten a car loan to purchase his car. It was a
Volks Wagon beetle…I remember the first day he brought it to my shop. I sat in
front with such poise, as he drove me home. My parents prayed for him and
blessed the car.
Not long
after this, my dad took ill and passed…it was devastating for the whole family;
it was one of the darkest moments of my life. Tunji stood by me, he was equally
hurting because my dad had grown quite fond of him; there were things he would
tell him before telling me (her daughter). Tunji helped me to heal and move on.
He would talk to all of us and use himself as an example of how God would never
leave us even if our dad passed. He would tell stories of the things he had
been through as an orphan and how God showed up for him. I’m sure some of the
people that came to sympathize would have easily mistaken him for one of the
deceased’s biological children. He would sit with my mum and console her…he
would cajole her to eat and encourage her to be strong because she was all we
had left.
Somehow we
pulled through and gathered our lives together. After a while, I noticed that
my mum was nudging me to get married so we could have a reason to celebrate and
be joyful in the family. She would ask questions like
“What are
you people waiting for?”
She would
say things like…
“A woman is
supposed to get married latest by 25, since she does not have a lifetime of
fertility ”
She even
called Tunji and had a discussion with him…Tunji told her not to worry as he
was trying to put some things in place and very soon he would make it happen.
I loved Tunji,
he was everything a woman could ask for in a man but I wasn’t going to rush
him. I just believed he must have his reasons for taking things slow. He
already told me he would marry me but needed a little time to “put things
together” (that was his phrase).
I could
understand why my mum was on my case, as my elder brothers were not even
thinking about marriage at that time. Our eldest had graduated and was working
in the Public Sector. He had just gotten the job and was still settling in; he
wasn’t even in any serious relationship. The one after him studied Pharmacy and
was rounding up; the remaining two were studying the same course at the same
university and were just a year apart.
To be
continued in Part 4
The
Exchange (Part 4)
My
relationship with Tunji was more or less an engagement but nothing was
official…I’m sure if people gave engagement rings back then, I would have been
wearing one.
I was
considered ‘marked’, everyone knew I had a boyfriend…my mum would introduce him
as “Ǫkǫ Àfęsǫnà” which means Fiancé in Yoruba Language. Later my mum started
suggesting that we should get pregnant but Tunji would just laugh and tell her
not to worry, that we would give her all the grandchildren she was looking for.
Tunji made a vow of chastity with me and had said we would wait till our
wedding night before we ‘did’ anything. He would say “What’s the point of
rushing to have a taste when you can easily have the whole pot for keeps ”
Not long
after that, a cousin of mine, Laide, who lived in Lagos was getting married and
it was going to be a big party…that was the first grandchild of my maternal
grandmother that was getting married so the whole family was all agog.
Laide and I
were very close growing up…she would come spend some time with us during her
school breaks and I would do the same during my holidays. We kind of drifted
apart when she got admission into the University of Ibadan. She came with her
mum (my mum’s elder sister) to inform us of her wedding.
It was nice
seeing her again…the last time I saw her was when she stopped by after my dad’s
demise. unlike that visit, this time, we had time to talk and we did for hours.
She told me everything about her fiancé.
How they
met at the University of Ibadan, when he came to visit his younger sister that
happened to be Laide's friend,
How he
studied Medicine abroad but is now working in his father's company
How he’s
from a wealthy family
How they
are planning to shut Lagos down for the wedding
She went on
and on and on about how this was a fairytale come true for her.
How she
already got a brand new car from her would-be father-in-law for saying yes to
his son
How she
would be travelling abroad with her fiancé to shop for the wedding
And finally
she said she wanted me to be her chief bridesmaid (we called it ‘best lady’
back then)
I couldn’t
say No, I was super excited for her…she took my measurements and shoe size so
she could get me the things needed on their shopping trip.
They were
with us the whole weekend and she met Tunji…
“Hmmmn,
he’s so handsome ” was all she said and they left Sunday evening.
My mum and
her sister (Laide’s mum) already made arrangements for the “Asọ òkè” (the
traditional head gear and cap for family members to wear at the wedding). They
would meet at Ibadan some weeks later to go pick one and buy in bulk. Laide
told me to come to Lagos before the wedding, she told me when she would be back
from her trip and wanted me to come try my clothes and other things on…in case
they would need adjustments. After they left, my mum still took a jab at me and
Tunji, saying we should get something done soon.
My cousin
got back and I quickly travelled to Lagos to go see her…the things she brought
for me were beautiful. She bought everything needed to be the chief bridesmaid
up to undies. I met her fiancé (Bola) for the first time as well. I also met
the best man who happened to be the groom’s cousin. I noticed the way he was
looking at me...I wasn’t sure I liked it.
Bola took
us out to have lunch and his cousin came with us…I had never seen such lavish
generosity in my life.
Poverty is
a bastard…the restaurant he took us to…
The car we
drove in…
The people
we met at the restaurant….
I was
seriously intimidated but I kept it together. I told myself I would just sit
quietly and return to my Abeokuta after everything.
You will
not shi-marry
The
Exchange (Part 5)
It was at
the restaurant that the would-be best man started to talk to me. He told me his
name…Babatunde, but said everyone called him Baba T. He seemed like a nice guy
but I could sense some form of arrogance in him. He said we needed to be
friends to make the wedding beautiful; he was funny and made us laugh a lot. I
got to know, as we talked, that Baba T’s parents were even richer than Laide’s
parents-in-law. The amount of money they (Bola and Baba T) were discussing
scared me…they talked about how they wanted to take their parents’ business to
the next level and make it even bigger. They had both studied in the United Kingdom
and returned to work in the family business.
After
lunch, it was time to go back to where I came from. Bola was going to drop me
off at the motor park but his cousin volunteered to…he said it was on his way
and he also wanted to get to know me. He didn’t say much on our way; he was
just being funny and explained what I needed to do at the wedding because there
was a surprise for the couple that we had to take care of, without creating any
suspicion. He gave me some money at the park and said he was sorry he couldn’t
take me to Abeokuta. I told him he didn’t have to; he insisted, so I took it,
thanked him and got in the bus. It was after he left that I realized how much
he gave me. I had forgotten I was in the bus as I screamed…I apologized to the
people beside me and kept my cool for the rest of the trip. I had never been
given that much money by anyone in my life…I wanted to tell Tunji but was
afraid he could be intimidated or feel like something was going on and I didn’t
want to start something where there’s nothing.
I told my
mum everything that happened in Lagos and showed her the money…she paused for a
while and later told me to be careful. Let me just say that the money was
enough to buy an adjustable salon hair dryer I had been saving toward. I had to
tell Tunji that my cousin gave me some money and I added to what I had saved to
get the dryer.
I
completely forgot about the ‘rich princes of Lagos’ and continued with my life
until it was time to travel for the wedding. Tunji had planned to attend but
had another engagement so he passed.
I got to
Lagos about 4 days before the wedding…my mum and brother came three days later
to attend the traditional engagement ceremony. I stayed with Laide in a hotel
room. Her father-in-law said he wanted her to stay there because of all the
visitors that would be frequenting the house. The groom and Baba T also stayed
in another hotel, not too far from where we were. It was on the night of my
arrival, at a dinner held at the groom’s house, that the best man told me everything
about the surprise that the groom’s parents had for couple.
They had
built the couple a house, to be presented to them as a wedding gift and wanted
us to secretly move their stuff to that house (I later figured that was the
reason for having them stay at the hotel rooms). It was an assignment to be
executed by the best man and I, without ruining the surprise. During the dinner
I couldn’t keep my eyes off how beautiful and tastefully furnished the house
was…the cars in the compound, they even had cooks and maids. I was happy for my
cousin and a little bit jealous of her at the same time. I thought to myself “Ó
ti rí ibi ire sọ ęru ę k’alę sí” meaning she found a good place to settle in
and live her life. I met Baba T’s parents as well and greeted them. Laide
introduced me as her cousin…they all said I was respectful and well trained and
Baba-T’s mum said jokingly that she wouldn’t mind ‘plucking’ another girl from
our (referring to me). I smiled,
although embarrassed and walked away.
I was with
Baba T all through Thursday as we supervised the moving of the couple’s things
to their new home and got things set up. He was fun and really nice to me…he
also took me out for lunch. I seized that opportunity to thank him for the
money he gave me the first time we met. His response was “ Don’t mention,
beauty has no price tag”
I wasn’t
sure of what he meant by that, but I smiled and thanked him again. He asked me
a lot of questions that day; like he wanted to really know me. He said I had
confidence and spoke very good English but I could tell he was concerned that I
didn’t have post-secondary education. He said I should have still gotten it
regardless of my entrepreneurial spirit as it would help me handle my business
better. I told him he was beginning to sound like my late father and he said he
was sorry but wasn’t done talking about it and would get back to it later. I
figured I had just 3 more days to spend in Lagos and that would be it…so I
indulged him. Besides, it felt good to have these conversations as I had not
really done this before...
You will
not shi marry.
The
ExchangePart
6.
When we talked about my late dad he felt sorry
for me, I could see the sincerity in his eyes…he said he could imagine life if
he had lost his dad and told me the story of how his dad helped him to overcome
some challenges that could have gotten him expelled from school while studying
abroad.
Baba T
dropped me off at our own hotel later that evening. As he was leaving he said “
I think I like you ”, all I could say was " thank you " as I hurried
into the lobby. Laide was already very angry because she had no idea where we
were. I quickly apologized and blamed it on the best man. She later told me
that Baba T’s mum had been asking questions about me and wanted to know things
about my family. “ Don’t mind them, they are looking to add an extra to the
wife they already got ” I said as I made my way into the bathroom.
The
following day was super busy, it was the day of the traditional wedding and I
was with Baba T for the most part. We were running around to make sure
everything went on perfectly. At a point, he asked if I could drive and wanted
to hand me a car key so I could run some other errands…that way we would be
able to cover more grounds before the ceremony that was slated for that
evening. I told him I couldn’t drive and he promised to take care of that as
soon as we were done with the wedding. In my mind, I was like “ Where will you
see me? ”
As we drove
around town, Baba T continued his ‘interrogation’ and wanted to know more about
my mum and siblings. I told him of my eldest brother that was working with the
government and had just gotten the job. Bab-T asked if he would be attending
the wedding and I said yes…he said he would like to meet with him and have a
chat.
The
ceremony was nothing short of glamorous…everything was well planned and nothing
was lacking. Food, drinks, decorations, clothes, accessories, the band was a
high class Juju musician. That was the first time I saw people getting gifts
for their traditional wedding. The couple got about 3 brand new cars from
friends of the groom’s family. The money I made on the dance floor almost
brought me to tears. Baba T and his friends showered me with lots of money as
they sprayed endlessly (it was like a planned thing). My mum called me at the
end of the ceremony and asked who the “Darosha’ was (Da rocha was the name of a
Brazilian merchant that was believed to be the richest Nigerian a long time ago
and people used the term derogatorily for a flaunter of wealth). I told him it
was the man that gave me the money I showed her the last time I came to Lagos.
She nodded her head for a while and told me to be careful (again).
Later that
night, I introduced my eldest brother (Brother Kola, like I call him) to Baba T
and they talked for a long time. I had to go back to the hotel with Laide to
prepare for the big day. I thought the traditional wedding was glamorous until
I saw the church wedding. Every detail had an aura of affluence…the groom and
his family went all out to make the day extra special. Laide just kept shedding
tears of joy and I couldn’t help but do the same. The Groom’s father talked
about how he (the groom) had been a good boy from childhood and this was just a
little way of showing how proud he was of him. It was during the reception that
the groom’s father unveiled the secret present…a brand new fully furnished
house where the newly wed would start their family.
I was in
awe of the gifts they received…there’s no way they could have used everything
they were given. I doubt if they had enough room in their house to even contain
the gifts. I was the custodian of the bride’s money, that people were
‘spraying’ her…it was tiring, as the bags were getting filled up fast. Baba T
and his friends ‘soaked’ me in money again at the reception when we were
dancing with the couple…he did the same for my mum (I wasn’t sure how he knew
that was my mum).
There was
an all-night party that continued till Sunday morning…people ate and ate but
the food and drinks kept coming. There were lots of eminent personalities and
dignitaries at the wedding and indeed they shut Lagos down like Laide had said.
You will
not shi-marry
The
Exchange (Part 7)
Laide told
me they were travelling to Paris for their honeymoon and wanted me to stay for
a few more days until she travelled. I sent my mum to Tunji to let him know I
would be staying for 3 more days and I would see him as soon as I got back.
I helped
Laide to count how much money she was ‘sprayed’ while dancing…my God! Let me
just say that I made close to ten thousand naira (trust me, that was a lot of
money back then…I had never even had or handled that much money in my life);
that should give you an idea of how much money Laide was ‘sprayed’. Baba T
offered to drop Laide and her husband at the airport and I came with them.
After they
departed, Baba T offered to drop me at Abeokuta; it was already evening so I
opted for public transportation. He insisted that he would drop me at home but
I was scared as I didn’t want him to know where I lived and I also didn’t want
any issues with Tunji. He wouldn’t listen and just kept driving towards
Abeokuta…he said his mum would not forgive him if he told her that he didn’t
take me home. “And how would she know? ” I asked.
He replied
that she would ask him.
“Don’t you
know that my mum likes you? ” he added. I had this uncomfortable grin on my
face and Baba T continued by telling me the story of how he almost married an
‘oyinbo’ (a Caucasian) while in the United Kingdom and how the lady had
introduced him to heroin and how it almost ruined his life. How his father used
everything within his power to get him clean and rehabilitated and back to
school. How his father helped him to complete his education. How his mum made
sure he came back to Nigeria to join the family business after he graduated and
how his mum swore that she would see to it that he married a Yoruba girl. He
told me he’s an only child and that his mum could not wait for him to get
married.
I asked
what was delaying him and he responded that he tried dating a few girls after
he got back but there were issues and besides, his mum had never liked any girl
he brought home. I asked what he meant by “there were issues” and he told me
not to worry about it. As we were approaching Abeokuta, I was secretly praying
that Tunji would not be in our house when we arrived.
When we got
home, Baba T helped me with my luggage…he also came in and said hello to my mum
(who was shocked to see him). My eldest brother was also at home when we
arrived and for whatever reason, he was very pleased to see Baba T. They talked
for a while and when Baba T was about to leave, he gave some money to my mum;
who somewhat hesitated but had to take it because the giver insisted.
“What are
you doing? ” was my mum’s question as soon as I entered the house after seeing
my ‘visitor’ off.
“Maami, I
don’t understand what you are saying ” was my response. My mum was not very
happy as she went on and on about how greed could cause a person to make wrong
decisions.
“Be content
with what God gave you”
“Don’t be
distracted because of what you saw at your cousin’s wedding ”
“Tunji is a
good boy and he will make you happy. Don’t let money entice you ”
I was
getting really angry at my mum because Baba T had not even said he wanted to
date me. I told her it was our roles at the wedding that brought us together,
made us friends and there was nothing else to it.
“When a
child is cutting a tree in the forest, only the elders can tell in which
direction it where it will fall ” my mum said and she stopped talking about it.
My mum was
never the nagging type; she would say what’s on her mind and let you make your
own decision.
Part 8.
In
the middle of our argument, Brother Kola...who had stayed outside to discuss
with Baba T, said he had some good news. He said he had a chat with Baba T
during the wedding and he promised him a job at their company.
The job was
in Lagos, paid like four times what he currently earned, and came with an
official car and some other benefits. He was to come over in a week to have a
formality-type interview as Baba T already offered him the job.
“ Now I can
finally get married” my brother screamed as he jumped up and clenched his fist
in celebration like someone that won a race. I could tell that my mum was
confused and happy at the same time.
“ How?
When? ” those where my questions for Brother Kola.
He said
Baba T asked what he studied, when they met at the wedding and said he would be
a good fit for their company. " He confirmed it just now when I saw him to
the car" my brother continued.
There was
another brother of mine at home (brother Dipo); he rushed out to check what the
noise was all about…he wasn’t really impressed when we told him.
“ So what?
Do they think we are their charity project?” he said.
That
statement almost turned to a physical brawl between my two brothers but my mum
was able to quell it. She said we had to be thankful for every blessing; as God
could use anyone to deliver answers to a man’s prayers.
Brother
Dipo apologized to our eldest brother but said “ I know there’s more to this
sudden ’no strings attached’ philantropism and I will remind all of you when
it’s time to pay back ”
Brother
Dipo took after my dad; he’s not easily swayed or impressed by anything and had
trust issues with strangers. We forgot about the whole thing and I settled in
for the night.
Tunji came
the following day…it was really nice seeing him again; I didn’t know I had missed
him that much as we almost broke our chastity vow. When he was about to leave,
he told me the real reason he couldn’t attend my cousin’s wedding.
He said he
had applied for a job with a multinational company a while back but they
finally reached out to him and scheduled the interview for Friday and Saturday,
same days as the traditional and church weddings. The interview was in Ibadan
and it went really well. He was really certain that they would consider him for
the position. The job required a 3-month new employee orientation training in
Germany and there were just two of them left in the process. He said he didn’t
want to tell me earlier, so as not to get my hopes up unnecessarily since he
wasn’t sure if he would scale through the initial qualification. “ If I get
this job, I am going to marry you right away ” he added.
I was
excited for him…howbeit, angry that he did not keep me in the loop. He said he
was sorry and asked how the wedding went. I had to give an edited version of
the story and cut Baba T out of it.
Life was
back to normal, my customers had missed me as I went back to work. I also gave
my salon a facelift from the money I made in Lagos and it looked really beautiful.
Brother
Kola got the job as promised and had to move to Lagos…he came back the
following weekend with his official car. It was a brand new Citroen CX 2500 and
it was really beautiful. All my other siblings were home that day and they all
wanted to take the car for a spin. Brother Dipo congratulated Brother Kola but
you could tell he was just being civil.
My mum got
in the kitchen and cooked like it was Christmas, just to ‘wash’ the car.
Before my
brother left for Lagos, he handed me a little note from Baba T and said “ This
guy must really like you, he is always talking about you and asking questions”.
The note was just to let me know that he (Baba T) was out of the country and
would be back in about a week. He also said he would try and come over to
Abeokuta to see me once he got back. After reading the note, I began to wonder
what Baba T really wanted from me. The wedding was over and I had thought
parting ways would put an end to his infatuation.
I found
myself thinking about this all day…I let my imagination run wild, playing all
the different scenarios in my head and I decided I was going to stay with
Tunji. He deserved it, he had been a good boyfriend and I had never regretted
dating him. Baba T was nice too but he was a little arrogant (although he liked
to call it confidence).
Two weeks
after my brother came home, Baba T showed up at my salon. It was a Saturday
afternoon, he had gone to our house and my mum told him I was at the Salon, so
he drove down...
You will
not shi-marry
The
ExchangePart
9.
I almost screamed when I saw him…Tunji had
been with me at the Salon all morning and had just left. Baba T could tell I
was jittery
“ Are you
not happy to see me? ” he asked. I told him I was just shocked to see him. He
asked if we could go somewhere and talk, I quickly obliged as I did not want
any drama if Tunji came back.
He said he
had missed me and just wanted to see me again…he also brought me some gifts
from his trip to the United Kingdom. He said he really wanted to spend some
time with me and he also had some important things to discuss with me. We
talked for a while but I just wasn’t comfortable, I had to tell him about Tunji
and that he also lived in Abeokuta and I didn’t want any trouble. He laughed
and reminded me of a Yoruba adage that means “A woman is permitted to be wooed
by a thousand and one men, but can only marry the one on top of it”. He said he
understood and that Laide (my cousin) already told him about my ‘boyfriend’.
“ He is
more than just a boyfriend ” I quickly added
“ We’ll see
about that ” Baba T responded
He asked if
I could come see him in Lagos the following weekend so we could talk. He also
said he had a big surprise for me regarding my business. I agreed to see him in
Lagos and wouldn’t let him drop me off at my Salon; he got a cab to take me
back however.
By the time
I got home, my mum was curious to know what was happening. I told my mum that
Baba T came to share a business idea/opportunity with me and would like me to
come to Lagos to discuss it and all she said was “ Mo ti gbọ o ” (I hear you).
I told
Tunji the same thing but left out the name of the person I was going to see. He
actually wanted to drive me to Lagos but his car needed to be fixed and he
didn’t want to risk driving it to Lagos. I told him I would be fine and I
should be back in a couple of days.
When it was
time to travel to Lagos, I told my mum I would stay with Laide and Bola or my
elder Brother. I got to Lagos around 12:30 pm and took a cab to Baba T’s office
(he had given me his card and told me to show it at the reception). I tried to
look my best that day because I knew the kind of company that Baba T kept…I
wore one of the dresses that Laide brought from her honeymoon and really looked
like ‘one of them’.
As I
stepped into the building, the coolness of the air condition reminded me of a Nigerian
banking hall…the office was tastefully furnished. I was lost in the beauty of
the art decors until I heard the receptionist’s voice “ How may I help you
ma’am? ”
For a
moment I thought to myself “ Me? Ma’am? ”
“ I am here
to see Baba T ” I replied. She asked if I had an appointment and I handed her
the card
She quickly
picked up the intercom and said something like “ She is here sir ”
Then she
told me to follow her…I later found out Baba T had told them he was expecting
me and that they should take me to his private waiting room.
There was
nothing they did not offer me; tea, coffee, juice, water but I didn’t want
anything. Baba T showed up like 15 minutes later; he said he was in a meeting
but had to end it. He looked at me as I got up to say hi to him, helped me up
with my right hand and kind of spun me around
“ Hmmmn,
you look good…I really like what I’m seeing” he said. I blushed and said thank
you. I asked where my brother was and he told me he was in one of their offices
on the mainland, overseeing a new project.
“ I’m
famished…let’s do lunch, then I’ll show you a place and see what you think of
it ” He said as he grabbed his jacket and car keys.
I noticed
that he held me by my waist as we stepped out of his office and the building. I
could tell that all eyes were on me. He introduced me to one of their managers
(the guy he was having a meeting with before I got there) as his ‘very good
friend’. The guy smiled and said jokingly that I must be very special for Baba
T to end a meeting abruptly because of me.
After the
meal, Baba T drove us to a location in Ikeja and parked in front of this huge
store-like building that was being renovated. It was right in the center of a
very busy commercial area. He asked me to come see the inside…the contractor
came to greet us, likewise the people working on the project. We went inside
and I was shocked. It was an almost completed mega hair dressing salon…so
beautiful and lavishly equipped. I could see the dryer stands being installed
in the walls (in the walls). I saw glass ceilings, beautiful sets of furniture,
and all sorts of high-end fittings.
“ Do you
like it?” Baba T asked with a smirk
I was so confused
so I asked if he was planning to start a beauty salon business. He responded
that it was for me if I would consider moving to Lagos.
“ I love
your entrepreneurial spirit and I want to help you become everything you can. I
want to support your dreams and aspirations. You have so much more in you than
that little place in Abeokuta…I see potentials and I can picture you as a
successful business woman. Move to Lagos…please. There’s a whole world of
opportunities for you here ” He added as we sat in his car to talk.
“ Why…why
are you doing this? What’s in this for you?” I asked…I was so confused I did
not know what to make of it. Trust me, there’s no way anyone would see what was
being built and not want it to be theirs. I could only imagine how much money
was put into the project.
You will
not shi-marry
The
ExchangePart
10.
Baba T started to
talk about how he liked me from the first day he saw me.
How he had
pestered my cousin, Laide, to help talk to me but she kept saying that I had a
fiancé.
How no girl
had ever been acceptable to his mum, but somehow she was crazy about me.
How his mum
would always tell him “ I don’t know why, but I just like that girl. You better
don’t let her slip out of your hands ”
How his mum
suggested the new salon move, just to get me out of Abeokuta
How after
he told his mum that I was already engaged to another guy she said “ B’ómǫdé bá
r’óyin a s’àkàrà s’ígbó ” meaning when a kid tastes honey, he/she has to let go
of the bean cake
How I
deserved a beautiful and comfortable life and how he would see to it that I got
it.
How he was
not looking for a girlfriend but a wife…because his mum was on his case to get
married.
How he
would never hurt me and how he would take care of not just me but my entire
family.
We must
have talked for hours…I was doing more of the listening though because I really
didn’t know what to say. It was already evening and Baba T suggested that we
went to my cousin’s place to chill and talk some more. I agreed because I
seriously needed to talk to Laide about this.
As soon as
we got to Laide’s place, I dragged her to a corner to talk. She confirmed everything
that Baba T said.
“ Na
serious matter o ” Laide said.
She told me
how Baba T’s mum had actually asked to be brought to Abeokuta to come see my
mum.
“ But I
have a fiancé ” I said, trying to put up some kind of protest
“ I know,
but you are not married. They have not broken any laws. They are simply trying
to get a seemingly ‘available commodity’. If Tunji had already married you, I
wouldn’t even be part of this. Until a woman is officially married, she is not
off the market o ” Laide responded, as she told me the story of the guy she was
dating back in the University. Their relationship started in secondary school
and they attended the same University. It was a serious relationship but the
guy was always saying he would never settle down until he had made a certain
amount of money.
Laide said
the guy was her first love but in their 3 rd year, he said he would need like 5
to 7 years to sort things out. She was actually willing to wait for him until
Bola came into the picture. She was snubbing Bola until the day the other guy
told her she didn’t have to wait for him. That was what made her decide to go
with Bola.
“ Do I need
to tell you that you are coming into comfort, if you consider Baba T? Can’t you
see it already? I know that money is not everything but it is the main thing…It
makes life easier and makes the marriage sweeter. I know you like Tunji, he’s
handsome and promising but Baba T is also handsome and he’s got more than
promises to offer. Don’t forget the wise saying of our people ‘ bà ò r’ęni
b’álà, ọlà kìí yá’ (it’s easier to make it, when connected to those that have
made it). Maybe God is trying to pay your family back for the good deeds of
your father…I cannot lie to you, you can never regret choosing Baba T ” Laide
continued.
I was more
confused after my chat with Laide. I had to tell Baba T that I needed time to
think and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. He said it was okay and
regardless of what I decided, I would still get the Salon, if I wanted it. He
left and promised to see me the following day. For the most part of that
evening, Laide kept trying to convince me…her husband stayed out of it though.
All he said was “ She’s old enough to make her own decisions”.
I couldn’t
sleep all night as I weighed my options…the thought of being Baba T’s wife
sounded interesting and enticing but I had my fears and reservations.
What would
Tunji do?
How would I
tell him?
Would my
mum support it?
I also
thought of staying with Tunji…but what if he didn’t marry me at the end of
everything?
What if he
got that job, travelled to Germany and never came back? Something in me knew he
could never do that and I sensed I was just trying to paint him black.
But every
woman wants and deserves comfort…everyone deserves a shot at affluence and
prosperity. Opportunities usually knock just once, what if this was it?
What if
this was my one and only shot?
What if God
truly sent Baba T my way to turn my life around?
What if
this was my own fairytale come true?
Something
in me wanted to be with Tunji but another thing in me kept questioning if he’s
worth giving up everything Baba T was offering
I finally
slept off around 3:30 am and when I woke up I knew I had to leave Lagos. I knew
I had to be somewhere neutral where I could clear my head and apply sound judgment.
I told Laide I had to go and that she should tell Baba T I would let him know
my decision about everything.
I got to
Abeokuta and went straight to my mum’s room
“ Maami, I
think I’m in trouble... ” was my opening line
To be continued...................... (Part 11)
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